In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
