he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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