dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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