i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
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Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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