i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
