Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
