I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
