Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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