were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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