I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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