if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
