I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
