i barfeds in our rink
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize