I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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