Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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