I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
