i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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