he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
