We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize