Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize