Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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(650): View more from California

my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah

(415): View more from California

and she bought it?!?

(650): View more from California

yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes

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(949): View more from California

It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke

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(616): View more from Michigan

Princesses don't give blow jobs

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?

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(514): View more from Quebec

Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with

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