so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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