My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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