I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
