i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
