her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
