turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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