its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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