All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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