Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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