Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
