You really coming over, don't trick.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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