My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize