Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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