absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
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is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
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When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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