Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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