How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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