Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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