Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
