is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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