There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
