i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
