This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
