i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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