This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
