I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
