Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
