I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
