I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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