five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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