why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize