You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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