You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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