I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
