i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
