Can i not drive my cunt home
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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