You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.