atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
