put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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