if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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