it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
